Why I’m not trying to be an “influencer” anymore.

According to Pixlee, the definition of a social media influencer is “a user on social media who has established credibility in a specific industry. A social media influencer has access to a large audience and can persuade others by virtue of their authenticity and reach”. I feel that the term ‘influencer’ seems a bit pretentious and gives the users a lot more credibility than in reality, I follow multiple influencers on social media however rarely find that their opinions or behaviours affect the decisions that I personally make. I generally follow these influencers mainly for the aesthetics of their content rather than for guidance on how I should live my life.  Maybe this is due to me being naïve as they probably do influence small things that I do like where I may choose to eat, but I feel that when it comes to the content that I produce on social media, I tend to only take inspiration from these users and creating my own take based on my values and preferences e.g. I hate avocados, and I’m not going to go to an avocado restaurant purely because an influencer went there.

The title of this blog seems to be quite hypocritical of me, and if you guys know me in real life, you’ll know that this is pretty much on brand for me. However, I have recently discovered that I am not the kind of person who can keep up the influencer lifestyle whilst still trying to keep a healthy relationship with work and friends etc. I’m not saying that this is not achievable and there are multiple ‘Instagram famous’ people out there who can do this, but I found that I was getting so engrossed in trying to become an influencer that I wasn’t being genuine with the people around me.

How these influencers find time to do washing, cleaning, work and see friends on top of finding time to write blogs, go to events and to keep up their social media bewilders me. I found that trying to keep up with all of this, I was pretty much annoying everyone around me, trying to find the next ‘background’ for my peacocking along with getting my friends to constantly take about 1000 photos of me and hearing ‘ew no I don’t like that one’ repetitively.

I know that this has been said multiple times and I don’t want to sound too preachy, but I found myself constantly doing stuff for the gram which, after having the self realisation, I noticed that most of us millennials do. I found that I was starting to find the things that I am passionate about, and would showcase on social media, was becoming a chore. 

In relation to the above, I was struggling to design and sew new garments to maintain a relevant social media presence whilst being constantly exhausted. Then constantly being exhausted was playing havoc on my mental health, causing my mood to fluctuate and making me even less productive in work, which I registered was starting to take a back seat to my attempt to become a blogger/influencer.

I do pride myself in my work, being a senior engineer in my practice at just the age of 23. I constantly get asked if I’m on work experience which I never know whether to take this as an insult or a compliment. I have invested the past 5 years to get to where I am and realised, that I, an engineer with no higher education qualifications in Journalism or English Writing (as evident in these blogs) is trying to get into a time consuming hobby/second career that mainly involves… writing. 

Therefore, to conclude, I am not trying to be an influencer as I find that I would prefer to invest myself into the relationships and passions that I have grown to love whilst writing blogs/sewing at a pace where I can continue to have a passion for them. I have registered that by forcing myself, becoming an influencer will be unattainable without compromising my; already hectic schedule, geographical location (middle of nowhere) or mental stability. From experience, realistically the mental stability will be the first to go and I need to think which do I need more; my mental health or 100k followers on social media.

Peace, Love and Pinot

Deano xoxo

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